My Joss: April 2015

We're passing all sorts of "anniversaries" as we speed through Spring.

It's been a year since John got sick.

One glorious Saturday we were here ...

And a few days later, we were here ...

... masked, then even gowned and gloved as we watched John lie in the ICU, unresponsive to treatment, even our presence.

XX and I talk often about the day he got sick, how it all started, the day we took him to the hospital, the day he didn't know us, and so on.

These conversations are generally just between the two of us. John has no memories of any of it and it upsets him greatly to hear of it, but it is, in an odd way, comforting to XX and me. We remind ourselves that we lived through it and together, we can get through anything.

We made time for blowing bubbles.

She continued with ballet and violin ...

... but also helped Daddy relearn how to eat and read.

"Referral Day" came this year and I realized I'd totally forgotten it last year. It's the day we found out we were to be parents to a tiny squealing, squalling baby. We never do anything special, but we always reminisce. The day completely passed me by last year. We were sitting in the ICU as John lay comatose.

Last Easter, XX and I decided not to host Easter for the family, and XX did not want to go to Aunt Suzie's either. We opted to spend the day with Daddy in the nursing home. He did not respond much to the eggs XX decorated and brought him, nor the ham lunch. It was disappointing and discouraging.

This Easter, we had the family over for a very easy, but especially joyous brunch. XX and I remembered that the year before, on April 4, we'd been called in to the hospital at 2 am to say goodbye. I looked at the note XX wrote to the Easter Bunny this year and it started with an apology. She said she was sorry she'd forgotten to write to him last year, but that her daddy was sick and it was a crazy time. She hoped he would be able to forgive her. I hadn't realized we had forgotten this ritual.

We enjoyed all the traditions this year, even dressing up.

It's been a year of uncertainty. The recovery is slow, but it appears John is mostly through and he has settled into a place that is workable and comfortable for everyone. He is a different person. We've been gifted with an ultra-gentle, ultra-caring person. He loves life, and as he says, if he had rose-colored glasses, he couldn't bear how beautiful the world would be. Life is good. For all of us.

There is a price to pay, but in the end, I think we've come out far ahead. XX gave up plenty of one-one-one time with me as I spent time helping John find his way back. Her schoolwork and her attitude faltered. But she's come through and become more independent.

She can take a Skype meeting with her Chinese teacher (all in Mandarin!) to make up missed classes.