A Giggle in the Night

Santa was good to us this year.

Brad and Steph came to spend Christmas Eve and Day with us. Seeing them with XX is the best. The three of them have this sort of love/laugh fest that is joyful to watch.

We saw Jamie, Lauren and Baby Isla the day after. All of them are doing well. Our whole family is healthy and happy. Life is good.

XX learned about presents. She was amazed when she found a few presents in her stocking. Boris and Ariel, too, remembered about stockings. The three of them checking out their treasures together, oh ... so sweet.

I think the unwrapping was the best part. We had XiaoXiao check the labels and when she saw the Xs, she'd yell "XiaoXiao!" and rip into the package. At one point though, she had a package for John and was about to open it when I asked, "But who is that one for?" She pointed to the "X" in "X-mas" and said gleefully, "XiaoXiao!" So while we have letter recognition, reading is still in the preliminary stage.

I do think that her biggest memory of Christmas this year will be the tree (she greets it every morning, says good night before she goes to bed, and laments the fact that Uncle Jack has no tree), and having family around. Much much playing and laughing.

(I have no pics for a complicated reason I won't go into. Technical problems between whatever and whatever.)

Just recently, XX has begun to close her syllables. The difference between "off" and "on," is suddenly making itself clear without the signing. I hear "oFFFF!" and "oNNNN!" She rolls the consonants in her mouth and savors them. It's like she's discovered they can live at the ends of sounds as well as the beginning.

Her speech is coming along in giant bunny leaps.

She's begun calling me at times "Mummy." Often it's "Little Mummy" or "Xiao Mummy" (little Mummy). I'm not sure who Big Mummy is.

Suzie sent us a book about a bird who is looking for his mother (not Are You My Mother? which doesn't resonate like this book about Choco). XX has completely connected with this story. She carries the book around with her, she reads it to herself, she has me read it and on every page, she looks to me and says, "XiaoXiao mummy right here" and she wraps her arms around me. Or "XiaoXiao have Mummy right here." Or even just "XiaoXiao have mummy" with vigorous head-nodding. It's heartwarming and heartbreaking at the same time.

Last night, I got my best Christmas present.

XiaoXiao still cries at night in her sleep. Every night. She doesn't always wake up, the extreme night terrors have subsided and surface rarely. But she calls for "Mama" or yells "NO!" or whimpers in her sleep. Not enough to wake herself up, just enough to wake me.

But last night, I heard a giggle. It's the first time I've heard happiness in her sleep. For all her daytime joy, her nighttimes have been full of anger, hurt, fright and sadness. Last night, a bit of happiness crept in. I've waited so long for this sound, I was beginning to think it might not exist.

Thank you, Santa.

Characters

Gpa D always told us to watch out for characters, blissfully unaware of the fact he was one crazy character himself.

And now we've got another in the family. This is who we took out with us the other day.

She wanted to wear her Halloween costume, her monkey suit, and her rainbow socks. And then ran to get her "bunny ears" hat. Anything hanging off a hat is a bunny ear. Any hair in a ponytail is a bunny ear. Her world is measured in bunny ears. I've explained this to many a pony-tailed person, after XX points out and calls out, "Uh oh, only one bunny ear!"

As Gpa said, watch out.

"The Stockings ..."

" ... were hung by the chimney with care."

Hard to get them all to face forward for some reason, but I did it. And then XiaoXiao noticed that one had an "A" on it. She knows "A" is for Ariel and thought it was great.

The "B" she finally figured was for "B-buh ... Boris!"

Then the "J."

"Hmmmm.... 'J' for Dada! John!"

The stockings might have been hung with care, but perhaps not the correct letters.

'Tis the Season

For Family, Giving, Loving ... and fires. My little helper even stacks wood.

She helps with everything from shopping to cleaning to emptying the dishwasher to folding laundry. She's a hard worker, my girl.

And what a girly girl. She loves her purples and pinks, bows and flowers. I tried to see if a grey hoodie would fit her and she ran from me screaming, "NO!" preferring the pink, of course. She would rather wear a pair of shoes that don't fit, but match the outfit, than a pair that fits, but is a "little bit yuck yuck." Definitely my girl.

She's gotten to the age where she will, if she can reach, put items in the grocery cart. Tomatoes, asparagus and strawberries are what she "needs." Blueberries are a must, no matter what time of year. Even her frugal father doesn't deny her these.

Pork is a true favorite. If something is really good, she wonders if it is, oh say, "pork fish."

She can sometimes eat an astounding amount and when I asked her on Thanksgiving where she was putting all the food, she answered matter-of-factly, "In my mouth."

Baby Isla is turning out to be a good eater as well. She already takes more formula than XX did at nine months. We also have a new cousin, Lian, who came home from China just after Thanksgiving. He sounds like another spirited child - Robin and Todd are in for some fun!

One day, just before Thanksgiving, XiaoXiao picked up her bunny and said, "I love Bunny." And then turned to me and said, "I love you, Mama" and ran into my arms. (Okay, so I'm behind Bunny, but I'm just thrilled to be in line at all.) XX has been home 18 months now, twice as long as she lived in China and the changes we see in her are huge.

After repeating "I love you" earlier this week, and saying "I love you, too, Dada," a barrier seems to have come down. XX says it constantly (though it sounds like "I yuh YOU Mama!!!") and every time, runs into my arms for a stranglehold hug and a kiss she almost engraves into my face. If we're apart for even a minute, she runs to me saying, "Miss you!!!" with again, the giant hugs. Her love, like everything else about her, is fierce.

When I'm holding her, she whispers into my ear, "You and me, you and me, you and me." I'm not sure where she learned it, but it's her mantra so I say it back to her now and she relaxes in.

She runs to say "bye bye" to Dada when he goes to work, "hello" when he comes home, and even, the other day, didn't turn her head away when he leaned in to give her a kiss. Then promptly told us, "XiaoXiao no turn head when Dada give kiss. Wow, XiaoXiao!" (Her father's daughter - never above praising herself!) She plants some good ones on him, too, to his delight, and now, when Mama is cooking, will ask him to pick her up to watch what's going on. He never says no, always happy to hold his crazy little daughter. His face is beautiful when she's in his arms.

XX loudly tells her father when it is time to eat (I am sure her voice can be heard down the street if not in the next county), to take off his shoes when he comes in the house, hang up his coat, and so on. She is bossy, but she gets results that I never have. On the flip side, when he's sleeping, she kisses the palm of her hand and wipes it softly on his arm or his cheek.

XiaoXiao chatters constantly and John can now understand her much of the time. Her Mandarin is still better and clearer than her English, but that is coming along. Her ballet French is also surprisingly good.

She loves her dance class. I know these videos are probably boring, but they're for Suzie. It's incredible to me that two year olds can do anything much at all, let alone a ballet class. (Sorry that there are two, but they were on different formats and I couldn't figure out how to mesh them.)

At the beginning of class, each child says her name and runs around the circle of sitting children. Just this past week, XX was able to run around by herself. The girls all love this part but it's taken XX a while to get up by herself (I've been running with her). In true XiaoXiao fashion, when alone, she didn't run in a full circle, but halfway around, then cut through the middle and ran the other way - a wacky figure eight. And she was laughing all the way.

This is "spoon ears." Anything for a guffaw.

Steff sent her some puzzles and XX loves them. (John's happily watching Sponge Bob in the back. How many children do I have?) Again, perhaps a bit boring, but this is for Steff.

This wacky, hyper and happy sprite couldn't be more our daughter if she had our DNA. My fantasy and fantastic child. She's more loving and affectionate and secure by the day. It's miraculous to watch - her growing belief and joyful acceptance that this is her forever family.

Even Boris has come around and will tolerate XX for short periods of time.

'Tis the season ... for miracles.